15 The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost. 16 But I received mercy for this reason, that in me, as the foremost, Jesus Christ might display his perfect patience as an example to those who were to believe in him for eternal life.
~ 1 Timothy 1:15-16
This year has been wearisome, hasn’t it? Some of us have been affected by sickness due to COVID-19. Even if we, or a loved one, have not been sick, we have all experienced the effects of the response to COVID-19. Our lives have been altered. Many of us who labor in health care, restaurants, schools, or small businesses have seen dramatic changes in our daily lives. As I have been dwelling on these changes to our lives the Lord has brought to my mind a dear sister in Christ who I knew a few years ago. Ms. Beulah was 98 years old when I met her. She was bound to a wheelchair and lived in an assisted living facility. Her family had preceded her in death, she was mostly blind and had a hard time hearing. She was a follower of Jesus, but she had become worn by the weight of the world with its weary daily struggles.
While sitting with her she would often say, “My life is a series of hurry up and waits! Hurry to get me up, get me dressed, get me fed, get me in a wheelchair and then I wait. I wait for the next hurry, when they come in and the process repeats.”
Over the course of many years together, Beulah and I would talk about this experience. Each time I heard the weariness of her situation, the sorrow in her heart and the longing for restoration. As I have reflected on 2020, I hear those same themes: weariness, sorrow, and longing.
When Beulah turned 100 there was a huge party that was thrown for her. A limo ride, balloons, a fancy meal, and many well-wishers who stopped by to spend time with her. After the party had ended, I asked her how her party was. Again, Beulah recounted her struggles, “Another day of hurry up and wait.” Sorrow had filled her heart as she longed for her twin sister who had died 50 years before.
As time went by, I kept prayerfully wondering how I could care for Beulah. Nothing I could say seemed to encourage her in her life filled with hurry up and waits. One day, around the time she turned 101, I was visiting with her again, and she had tears in her eyes. When I asked her how she was doing she said, “Christ Jesus is displaying his perfect patience in me.” Beulah had been struck by the mercy of God’s love for her, even in her weariful sorrow. When overwhelmed by the weight of the weariness of the world, God’s gracious and patient love for her became her source of life. This hope came when she understood that God’s mercy outweighed the sorrows of her current condition. His patient mercy towards her outweighed her blindness, her boredom, wheelchair, and even in her mourning of her family. Even when she was bitterly angry over everything in her life, God met her weary anger with His merciful, perfect patience.
God meets us in our weary anger too. In 2020, I am becoming more attuned to how Christ Jesus is displaying his perfect patience in me. I see more of my impatience, disappointment, and weaknesses due to the frustrations and sorrow of this weary world and my weariable soul. I also see more of His reason for coming into this world; to save sinners, to demonstrate His patience by showing mercy to a foremost impatient, brash sinner like me.
~ Pastor Bennett
